It’s been a week since I have been here and there’s not a day that goes by that I haven’t been extremely exhausted come the end of the day!
Arriving, I was deathly tired from the night before. A bunch of my awesome friends came out to bid me a farewell and good luck the Winnipeg way, or alcoholics’ way, or psychotics’ way – I have yet to decide. Basically I was served a shit-load of shots in the course of four hours, making the morning of my departure extremely difficult and painful.
Every other night I’ve been exhausted from a full day’s worth of exploring and trying to get familiar with my new home. I’ve tested out the subway lines, tried gyms in the area, ventured off through the streets of downtown alone, and pick destinations and try and see if I can make it there and back.
Yes I’ve been lost and confused at times, but it’s all part of the experience right?
Here are 6ix things that I’ve noticed in my first week here:
One: Ain’t no body got time for that. Like actually!
People here take their time seriously, especially in downtown. If you’re slow or holding up a line, you better be prepared to hear the huffing from people behind you or as they try and manoeuvre themselves around and in front of you. Like, sorry if I was entering my calories into MyFitnessPal as I came up from under the subway.
Anyways, if you make the same mistake of walking sluggishly as you chose a selfie filter for your next post, or clip your toe nails as you walk through a well travelled area, try and stick to the right side of the path. Sure, you’ll still be considered slow AF, but at least this way you’re not also preventing people who are in a rush to be, probably nowhere.
What the actual fuck is up with that? Here they’re bigger, they’re blacker, and they’re bolder. Fuck that!
I was minding my own business just taking everything in and thinking to myself, “Wow dude, you did it – you moved and now you’re actually here.”
That moment was short lived when what looked like a rat or a poodle or whatever decided to dart across my path about a foot in front of me. When the black blur finally stopped and got a good look, it was the ugliest fucker I have ever seen to call itself a squirrel! It even had bald spots – from fighting other squirrels, I was told later.
Three: I live in “Churrono”
I read 25 Hacks to make your life easier in Toronto posted by blogTO and thought it was funny when I read their first hack:
It’s pronounced “Churrono” not “Tor-on-to”: the quicker you lose the proper pronunciation, the quicker people will think you’re a local.
This is funny and true — it’s something I quickly learned even before I read the post. I don’t know how long it will take before I am pronouncing it like a local, but right now I am halfway there: “Turonno.”
Four: Socket or suck it!
If you’re out and about and plan to do some work on a laptop or just charge your phone at a coffee shop, I bid you the best of luck! If you’re not one of the lucky ones that manage to secure a spot by an unused socket then you just have to, well, suck it!
You will always see every other person twirling around and scanning every part of each wall as they try and locate a place to plug in — I am one of those. Finding one is like gold though!
It’s also funny to see cords running across the floors, over planters and room partitions, and under chairs. I got one today at the Second Cup close to home, and seriously, everyone else can suck it! I am good!
Five: “Churrets” in “Churrono”
Pronouncing turrets, “churrets” — I don’t, and I hope no one does. I just thought it was a funny header.
But yeah, it’s not just a thing you see on TV. On my first few days here even, I’ve been startled by people with turrets on the TTC.
My first experience, it was a little past midnight and I was waiting for the subway line 1 going northbound to Finch at the Lawrence Station. I had decided to lean on the pillar because I was so exhausted. A man was standing on the opposite side of the pillar and he looked pretty normal. That’s of course before he decided start yelling out, “Jehovah is evil. Beast. God. All Christ. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!”
I was so caught off guard mainly because it was so quiet before that. When we got on the subway, he continued to scream these words all the way down through all the cars until we got to the final stop about four stations later.
Another time it was midday and I was sitting on the subway and I heard something like a banshee sounds from afar. I wasn’t sure what it was but it was coming closer by the second. Pretty soon I noticed some woman basically walking through the cars, dragging her feet, and yelling out repetitively, “Help me, help me! Money!”
As quick and as loud as she appeared from my left, she disappeared on my right.
There have been a few more incidents, but you get the point.
6ix: Fork drop. Diet drop.
If there’s anything you take from this post of my first personal experiences and opinions, take this: the food here is insane!
Because Toronto is such a mixing pot of many different cultures, theres a mixing pot of many different taste pallets and rightfully, the accompanying flavours that satisfy them. All you need is money and an adventurous tongue — for food of course!
From authentic Chinese food, to Jamaican, Filipino, Ethiopian, Italian, Korean, Vulcan, whatever you’re craving — they have it all! There are also so many different food trends from all over the world that are popping up everywhere!
Let me just rollover to the next post!